Quick Answer:Separation anxiety is one of the most common behavioural struggles in dogs. A combination of gradual desensitisation, environment changes and natural calming support can help your dog feel more settled when left alone. Herbal ingredients like valerian, chamomile and passionflower may help support a calmer state. |
I Know What It Feels Like
I want to start here, honestly. Watching a dog struggle with being left alone is one of the hardest things. The guilt when you close the door. The knot in your stomach when you check the camera. The neighbours mentioning the barking.
I have lived this with more than one of our dogs. Hazel's Cliff gets overwhelmed so easily. He is a big, solid Frenchie but emotionally he is the most sensitive dog in the office. When he senses a change in routine or when people leave, he does not just get a bit unsettled. He spirals. Pacing, whining, sometimes destructive behaviour that is completely out of character.
GiGi is different again. She is a rescue Frenchie and we think she may have been tormented with a laser pen before she came to us. She gets hyper aroused, fixated, and when that anxiety tips over, being left alone becomes unbearable for her.
And then there is Marshmallow. Marshmallow has a brain defect, and her world is already a confusing place. Separation just adds another layer to that confusion.
The point is, separation anxiety looks different in every dog. And the path to helping them feel safer looks different too. But there are strategies that genuinely help, and I want to share what has worked for us.
What Separation Anxiety Actually Looks Like
Before we talk about solutions, it is worth understanding what we are actually dealing with. Separation anxiety is not the same as a dog who barks for five minutes after you leave or one who chews a shoe out of boredom. True separation anxiety is a panic response.
Signs to look for:
- Excessive barking, howling or whining that starts within minutes of you leaving
- Destructive behaviour focused on exits (scratching at doors, chewing door frames)
- Pacing, drooling or panting when they sense you are about to leave
- Toileting indoors (in a dog who is otherwise house trained)
- Refusing to eat when left alone
- Following you from room to room when you are home
- Attempts to escape that can result in injury
If your dog is showing several of these signs, particularly the destructive or self harming behaviours, please speak to a qualified behaviourist. If you are not sure who, we can recommend people we have used and trust.
Why Dogs Develop Separation Anxiety
There is rarely one single cause. Some of the most common triggers include:
Changes in routine. A new job, different working hours, a house move. Dogs are creatures of habit, and sudden changes in when and how long they are left can trigger anxiety.
Rehoming or rescue. Dogs who have lost their person or been through multiple homes are especially vulnerable. GiGi came to us already struggling, and it took months of patient, consistent work before she could tolerate being in a different room from me.
A traumatic event while alone. A thunderstorm, fireworks, a break in, or even a loud noise from building works can create a lasting association between being alone and feeling unsafe.
Over attachment. Some dogs bond so intensely with one person that any separation feels threatening. This is not the dog's fault. It is often unintentionally reinforced by our own behaviour (and I am absolutely guilty of this. Gus and his mum Apple..... those that have met them know mistakes were made).
Lack of gradual training. Puppies who are never taught to be alone, even for short periods, can grow into adult dogs who simply do not have the coping skills for it.
Natural Calming Strategies That Help
This is where things get practical. In my experience, the best approach combines behaviour work with environmental changes and, where it helps, natural calming support.
1. Gradual Desensitisation
This is the foundation. The idea is to slowly increase the amount of time your dog spends alone, starting with durations so short they barely register.
Start by leaving the room for 30 seconds. Come back calmly. No fuss, no dramatic hello. Just quietly return. Gradually increase the time. 30 seconds becomes a minute. A minute becomes five. Five becomes fifteen.
The key is to keep the departures and returns completely boring. If you make a big deal of leaving ("be a good boy, Mummy will be back soon, I love you so much") you are actually flagging the departure as something worth worrying about.
This takes time. Weeks, sometimes months. But it works because you are slowly teaching your dog that being alone is safe, predictable and always temporary.
2. Create a Safe Space
Some dogs do better when they have a defined, comfortable space to settle in. This might be a crate, a particular room, or a cosy corner with their bed and a familiar blanket.
The goal is to build a positive association with that space long before you use it for departures. Feed meals there. Give special chews there. Make it the place where good things happen, so when you do leave, it already feels safe.
3. Departure Cue Desensitisation
Dogs are incredibly good at reading our routines. Picking up keys, putting on shoes, grabbing a coat. These cues can trigger anxiety long before you actually leave.
Try breaking the association. Pick up your keys and sit back down. Put your coat on and make a cup of tea. Do these things repeatedly throughout the day until they lose their significance.
4. Mental Enrichment Before You Leave
A tired brain is a calmer brain. Before leaving, try a short training session, a sniff walk (not a high energy run, which can actually increase arousal), or a puzzle feeder.
Leaving a stuffed Kong or a lick mat can also give your dog something positive to focus on as you go. The first few minutes after departure are usually the hardest, so anything that occupies that window can help.
5. Background Noise
Many dogs find silence unsettling. Leaving a radio on, particularly talk radio or classical music, can help mask environmental sounds and create a sense of presence. There are also playlists specifically designed for dogs (I know, but they genuinely seem to help some dogs settle. Gus loves a Tibetan gong playlist).
6. Natural Herbal Calming Support
This is where I can speak from direct experience. Alongside all the behaviour work, natural calming herbs have made a noticeable difference for several of our dogs.
Our Inner Calm Support contains a blend of calming herbs including valerian root, chamomile, lemon balm and passionflower. It is formulated by qualified herbalists and nutritionists to help support a calmer, more balanced state.
With Marshmallow, the difference was something I could actually see. She has a brain defect that makes everything harder for her, and the calming tonic became part of her daily routine. It did not change who she is. But it helped take the edge off in a way that let her cope better with the things that overwhelm her.
For Cliff, we use it on days when we know the routine is going to change. If we are going out for longer than usual or if there is something happening in the house that unsettles him, the herbal support alongside our usual strategies helps him settle more easily.
I want to be clear: herbal calming support is not a replacement for the behaviour work. It works alongside it. Think of it as giving your dog a gentler starting point from which to learn that being alone is okay.
You can browse our full Serenity calming range here.
7. Exercise and Routine
A consistent daily routine helps anxious dogs feel more secure. Regular walk times, meal times and quiet times create predictability, and predictability is calming.
Exercise matters too, but the type of exercise is important. For anxious dogs, gentle sniff walks where they can decompress are often more beneficial than high intensity runs that increase adrenaline.
What Not to Do
A few things that are well intentioned but can actually make separation anxiety worse:
Do not punish your dog for anxious behaviour. Destruction, toileting or barking caused by anxiety is not defiance. Punishing it increases fear and makes the problem worse.
Do not get another dog solely to fix separation anxiety. Sometimes this helps, sometimes it gives you two anxious dogs. The anxiety is usually about you, not about being alone in general.
Do not use crates punitively. If your dog is not crate trained or associates the crate with being locked away, forcing them into one can escalate panic.
Do not flood your dog. "Just leaving them to get used to it" (flooding) can cause intense distress and worsen the anxiety significantly. Gradual desensitisation is always the safer approach.
When to Seek Professional Help
If your dog's separation anxiety is severe (self injury, extreme destruction, prolonged distress), please work with a qualified behaviourist. Some dogs need more support than training and herbal remedies alone can provide, and there is absolutely no shame in asking for help.
Your vet can also check for underlying health issues that might be contributing, such as pain, cognitive changes in older dogs, or hormonal imbalances.
It Does Get Better
I know it does not feel like it when you are in the thick of it. When the neighbours are complaining and the door frame is destroyed and you feel like you cannot leave the house without causing your dog genuine distress.
But with patience, consistency and the right support, most dogs can learn to feel safer when left alone. It took months with GiGi. Real, frustrating, two steps forward and one step back months. But now she can settle, and that is something I never take for granted.
You are not failing your dog by leaving the house. You are doing the right thing by looking for ways to help them cope with it. For more on supporting your dog naturally, explore the Herbal Dog Co blog 🐾
Trusted by 400,000+ dogs across the UK.
FAQs
#1: How long does it take to help a dog with separation anxiety?
Every dog is different. Mild cases may improve within a few weeks of consistent desensitisation training. More severe anxiety can take several months of gradual work. The key is patience and consistency. Rushing the process usually sets things back.
#2: Can natural calming supplements replace medication for separation anxiety?
Natural herbal supplements like valerian, chamomile and passionflower may help support a calmer state, but they are not a replacement for veterinary prescribed medication in severe cases. If your dog's anxiety is causing self harm or extreme distress, please speak to your vet about all available options.
#3: Should I leave the TV on for my dog when I go out?
Many dogs find background noise comforting. Talk radio, classical music or audiobooks can help mask sudden environmental sounds and create a sense of presence. It is worth experimenting to see what works for your dog.
#4: Is separation anxiety more common in certain breeds?
Some breeds are more prone to strong attachment behaviours, including Labradors, German Shepherds, Vizslas and many companion breeds. However, separation anxiety can affect any dog regardless of breed, age or background.
#5: Can puppies develop separation anxiety?
Yes. Puppies who are not gradually taught to spend time alone can develop separation anxiety. Start with very short absences from a young age, building slowly so your puppy learns that being alone is safe and temporary. If you are concerned about a puppy showing signs of distress, consult your vet for guidance." FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS "### How long
